HALF OF MY HOMETOWN

I cannot say that this summer is everything I wanted it to be. I lost far more than I could have ever imagined.

I am 6 hours away from my new beginning. I am 6 hours away from starting over and being whoever I want to be and to find people who love every part of me. I am 6 hours away from reality.

I know I shouldn't care, but who will text me and check on me after my first week of school? Which friends will drive the 6 hours it takes to get to Nashville? My world is so unknown right now, it's hard to leave with certainty.

I cant't say I have done everything perfect in this life. I can't say I haven't said the wrong things or told someone something I regret. I can say I love, I love hard. My family, my friends, everything.

When you lose someone or in my case someone(s) you sometimes do this funny thing of correlating every thing around you to them. I pass a street I say, omg we listened to music passing this street. I pass a Wendy's, we used to go there sometimes. I pass the university, oh they're all staying home and going there.

I think my biggest fear is being forgotten. I have this fear that my friends will never reach out and that the friendships I've made over the years weren't sincere on both ends. I have this fear that no matter how hard I try it's never good enough. I have this fear that when I come home for the holidays the life I grew up on will have moved on without me. I mean they already are. I am happy for them, but it's hard. It is definitely hard.

I got in the car this morning and the first song I played was "Half of My Hometown" by Kelsea Ballerini. This song is a tear jerker for me, especially right now. "Stay or leave" half of me will always be part of Huntington. I'll never forget where I came from. AND I hope the other half of my hometown will be in the crowd and sing the words, and sing them loud. Cause "all I wanna do is make them proud."